Good for the brain!

Sploid
Dec. 11, 2005

Nicotine might be Public Enemy No. 1 for the bureaucrats who run America's local governments, but it's also a miracle drug that fights memory loss in old folks facing Alzheimer's Disease.

A new study by the University of Vermont shows that a daily dose of nicotine helps increase attention spans and short-term memory by mimicking natural chemicals in the brain that decrease over time in Alzheimer's patients.

"Nicotine can improve learning, it can improve attention performance," psychiatrist Dr. Paul Newhouse said.

But scientists aren't encouraging old folks to start smoking cigarettes. Instead, test subjects in the Vermont study are wearing a nicotine patch, just like the ones smokers wear when they try to kick the habit.

The health risks from cigarette smoking are all from inhaling toxic fumes into the lungs. Nicotine itself is a harmless stimulant that produces a mild sense of euphoria and an alert state of mind while simultaneously making the user feel relaxed.

Slight increases in heartbeat and blood pressure while using nicotine are about the same as mild exercise, doctors say.

Cigarette smokers have a hard time with the nicotine patch because the drug's delivery method is so much slower: A puff on a cigarette brings nicotine directly to the bloodstream and straight up to the brain, while the skin must slowly absorb nicotine from the patch. Stop-smoking gum was originally designed to taste horrible -- to prevent chewing too much -- but Nicorette finally won government approval to produce flavored nicotine gum after studies showed most people quit chewing the foul, peppery original Nicorette and started smoking again.

Safe, smoke-free nicotine inhalers have existed for decades, but the U.S. government has scared lawsuit-rocked tobacco companies away from selling the life-saving devices. Otherwise, those who enjoy nicotine with coffee (which delivers the mental miracle drug caffeine) or heart-saving booze could buy a pack of smokeless cigs at the corner store.

Philip Morris USA invented an effective nicotine-mist inhaler more than a dozen years ago, but apparently backed off from marketing the healthy alternative to smoking. The tobacco giant feared crazed consumer groups, idiot members of Congress and various health nazis would attack the company for "getting smokers at both ends."

As a result, Philip Morris and other cigarette makers get smokers at just one end -- the beginning -- and smokers get off alone at the other end, which is death.

Weirdly enough, the cigarette manufacturer is now pushing its nicotine-mist inhaler as a delivery device for other drugs. The "Aria Inhaler" is a breath-controlled device that sends a mist into the lungs for quick, full doses.

Nicorette, maker of the nicotine gum and lozenges available over the counter at any drug store, actually offers a nicotine inhaler. While reportedly not as effective as Phillip Morris' mist inhaler, it does let the smoker mimic the pleasurable habit of "smoking," minus the cancerous, lung-destroying smoke.

Various studies show the Nicorette inhaler is twice as useful in keeping people from returning to cigarettes. Bizarrely, this effective method is sold by prescription only. Smokers have a natural hatred of going to the doctor due to all the lectures.

(The Nicorette Inhaler appears to be easily available by mail order from Canada, where it's an over-the-counter drug.)